Thursday, June 6, 2013

United Way names iPhone #62526827528295A-72627 as new campaign chair


iPhone #62526827528295A-72627 has been named the chair of this year’s Metro United Way campaign.

The Announcement was made this morning at the campaign kick-off for the Metro United Way at a downtown hotel. iPhone #62526827528295A-72627 becomes the first non-human to be named a chair of an annual campaign in the history of the United Way.

“We had many worthy nominations – failed political leaders, CEOs of companies that have many employees that could donate through payroll deduction and some retired folks who’s past mistakes have been mostly forgotten. But this year, we wanted to embrace a whole new set of stakeholders. That’s why we chose iPhone #62526827528295A-72627,” said United Way CEO Dervish Snidely.

The smart phone was selected for its ability to reach the mobile generation of young professionals. The United Way campaign has found it difficult to connect with those under 30 other than through events and payroll deduction. With this appointment, Snidely says they are hoping to really make a difference.

“iPhone #62526827528295A-72627 speaks the language of today. It’s smart, fast and well-connected. It is comfortable talking to people on the phone or taking their picture. What more would you want from a United Way campaign chairperson, or chair-thing?” he said.

Proving his multimedia savvy, iPhone #62526827528295A-72627 accepted the challenge of leading the new campaign by texting, emailing, and posting maps and videos of itself all over the web.

“I am so pleased to be a part of this great community endeavour. I know that together we will be able to make a difference in Metro. I must now turn my screen off in order to save power,” it said.

iPhone #62526827528295A-72627 owner, insurance manager Dibble Brewer, says their whole family is proud of the nomination.

“When I heard that my smart phone had been named the head of the United Way campaign I was so excited. iPhone #62526827528295A-72627 is not just a phone, he’s a very talented individual who can educate, inform and entertain at the same time. And he’s also a very good friend. He’ll be perfect.”

“I just have to remember to charge him,” said Brewer.

Other smart phones across Metro are hailing the appointment as a breakthrough for their kind.

“I know I speak for many smart phones when I say that’s it great to see one of us up there on the podium of the United Way. We’ve really arrived,” said Samsung Galaxy 4 6373528i8292kkjd-78272y65.