Sunday, September 30, 2012

Only 17 of charity’s 9,000 Facebook “Likes” are real



Most of the 9,000 people who “Like” the Facebook page of Metro’s largest charity are not real. 

The Metro Foundation for Community Trust conducted a research project last month on their 9,000 “Likes” only to find that most of them were made by mistake, involve imaginary or dead people or are criminals or animals. They could only find 17 “Likes” who were from actual donors.

“We’re a bit disappointed to say the least,” said Foundation CEO Hairdoo Snidely. “We spent almost a year and more than $50,000 trying to improve the number of Likes at our Facebook page only to find that many of them are elves from the World of Warcraft.”

The Foundation launched a new social media campaign a year ago. Based on a consultant’s report, the Foundation devoted extra resources, time and money to make Facebook a priority. Most other forms of communications were shut down or ignored. The research project was the final stage of the first year of the program and was expected to show tremendous progress. Instead, Snidely says a review of their “Likes” found that most people going to their Facebook page weren’t the people they were going after.

“We found that 47 of our ‘Likes’ were in fact cats and 30 were cute puppies. And there was one pot-bellied pig and one budgie. They were all so cute. Some of them had the most amazing videos. It was wonderful to watch them. But none of them will ever be donors. Ever,” she said. 

The Foundation found that many of their donors who did “Like” them on Facebook had died but still had their social media pages up and running. Others were novices who had created a second or third Facebook profile of themselves by mistake and kept hitting the “Like” button. Foundation staff also failed to notice that many of the posts to the Facebook page were in other languages than English.

“We didn’t understand the references to the Bollywood film star. It turns our campaign chair shares the same last name as this Indian actor. We just thought the requests for autographed pictures and locks of hair were normal during a capital campaign,” said Snidely. 

Snidely said they didn’t find out until after the research study was completed that an international forgery ring was using the chat functions of their Facebook page to communicate in code about credit card scams in Europe and Asia. It also turned out that several of their Facebook “Likes” were members of the infamous Cannelloni mob family and others were former members of the KKK.

The Foundation plans to re-start their Facebook page next month. It will delete the 8,983 fake “Likes” and will begin a new campaign to attract new Facebook fans. 

Word about the Foundation’s plans have already leaked out to social media circles. Snidely says that as many as 200 real “Likes” have stepped forward to connect with them on Facebook.  

“We want to thank these new, real people for liking us on Facebook,” said Snidely. “I know that with the help of new fans like Fluffy the Cat and Pee-in Pants we will able to forge a new, solid social media machine that will be the envy of all other charities in Metro.”

“This has been a real eye-opening experience. We’ve learned a lot about social media through this process. We still can’t figure out where we went wrong on Facebook,” said Snidely. 

“Thank God our 150,000 followers on Twitter are still solid,” she added. 




Thursday, September 27, 2012

Only way CEO thinks she can implement best practices is to burn down building, start again



The CEO of Metro’s largest charity has concluded the only way to implement best practices in her organization is to burn down their building and start again.

Spooley Snidely, CEO of the Community Trust Foundation of Metro, came to the conclusion while attending a national charity best practices conference in New York. The two day event convinced her that her charity was hopelessly inadequate on almost every major task and that the only solution was to destroy everything and start from scratch.

“As I sat through each session on everything from finance and HR to marketing and fundraising I realized that we sucked in every possible way,” Snidely said. “On a few things we just were very, very bad. But on most we were truly hopeless. The only way I could see us improving would be to blow up the building.”

The Foundation’s board had asked Snidely to put the organization on a course of renewal based on benchmarks from the charity sector. But when she got to the two day conference she realized that no amount of minor change could fix their problems. That’s when she got the idea about taking change management to a whole new level.

“I decided to look at what others have done when faced with an unmovable situation,” she said.

Snidely says she took inspiration from other walks of life. When doctors can’t save an infected finger they amputate it. When customers in a fast-food restaurant in a major US urban center realize they didn’t get the right order they open fire with their handguns. When Vikings couldn’t get money from communities they visited on their journeys they just burned down the village, slaughtered all the cattle and sold all the people into slavery. She said these examples showed her the only solution was to start over.

The Foundation faces a number of challenges that simply cannot be solved. The charity’s finances are connected like a bunch of Christmas tree lights and Snidely says their finance manager is so hated and despised that nothing can get done. Their fundraisers try very hard, but they can’t seem to meet the ever-increasing targets that Snidely has set for them. The administrative staff ask too many questions and demand to be treated in a transparent fashion. The Foundations’ website doesn’t look as nice as the foundation across the street and their social media is boring. Snidely says everywhere she looks she finds impossible barriers to doing what she knows to be right.

“I tried really hard to think of another way,” she said. “I thought maybe we could just do another organizational chart change or maybe fire some more staff or maybe just charge more money for the miserable coffee we sell in the lunch room or something. But we’ve done all of those things before and we haven’t improved. We needed to do something drastic.”

Burning down their building and starting again, perhaps under a new name, will have a number of advantages, Snidely said. The Foundation would be able to jettison all the old ways of doing things that the organization has been unable to change. They would also be able to replace many of the workers, some of whom have been unable to embrace change. They could also replace their clunky fundraising database with new, state-of-the-art one. Under a new name, they wouldn’t have to carry the weight of the bad reputation they have created. And Snidely could get a bigger office, with perhaps her own coffee machine.

“It’s going to be a sad day when I pour all that fertilizer and gasoline over everything, light a match and go for a nice, long lunch, but I know that when I return we will be much better off,” said Snidely.

“We want to be the best charity we can be and if that means we have to break a few eggs to do it, so be it,” she said as she removed the batteries from the smoke detectors in her office. 

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Group of monkeys locked in a room finally figures out what donations are tax receiptable

Part of the team that cracked the code


It took them fifty years, but a group of monkeys locked in a room have finally been able to make sense of the US tax code’s provisions for charitable receipting, say scientists at the University of Southern North Dakota.

In a landmark study published in the Journal of Made-up Science the scientists found that after 52 years of work lab monkeys were able to correctly determine which donations deserved to receive a tax receipt and which did not.

“This is a major breakthrough. Many scientists have argued that tax receipting cannot be taught – that only those with a special genetic make-up could grasp the differences between what is tax receiptable and what is not,” explained lead scientist Dr. Bulgur Snidely. “And some have even postulated that there is in fact no way that any human can figure it out. This research with the monkeys locked in a room for 52 years shows that it can be done.”

The research program started in 1960 when, as a young PHD student, Snidely wrote a paper on how tax receipting could be learned and suggested using monkeys locked in a room to explore his theories. A dozen small monkeys were purchased and placed in a locked test room with a daily ration of bananas, some pencils and paper and a copy of the IRS tax code and then left alone. Every quarter, the monkeys would be asked to write a multiple choice question on tax receipting. Results were then analyzed for accuracy and any evidence of mental illness. 

After 52 years of incorrect results, the monkeys finally came up with a mostly correct set of responses. The three remaining monkeys got every question right except two about gifts of stock shares and donations of artistic works. Scientists are confident that in another decade or so the monkeys will be able to master these as well.

“I was always optimistic that the monkeys would be able to solve this problem. Even after several of the monkeys died and a few went insane I knew the rest would be able to figure it out. It was just amazing to watch them work,” said Snidely.

The monkeys were able to master gala fundraising event tax receipting about ten years after the project started but took more than two decades more to understand the rules surrounding gifts of cash and cash equivalents. About ten years ago the monkeys learned to write English and sent a note to the scientists asking for a more varied diet of fruit and to stop the experiment.

“When I saw that they had scrawled a note in English saying ‘stop killing us’ I knew that we were on the right track. Frustration and mental breakdowns are common among humans who have to deal with these issues. When I saw the same thing in the monkeys I realized we had reached a new plateau,” said Snidely.

More notes from the monkeys followed. Increasingly sophisticated in their writing skills, they eventually came up with a ten page protest letter which they sent to researchers and to the local SPCA. After agreeing to up the daily food ration to include banana liqueur, the monkeys spent the last three years really concentrating on getting the answers correct.

“This research shows there is hope for the charity sector. Donations can be properly tax receipted. If monkeys locked in a room for 50 years can do it, so can they,” said Snidely.

Already, several major US charities have announced that they plan to lock their gift processing staff in a room and feed them bananas until their tax receipting improves.


Thursday, September 20, 2012

INSTANT REPLAY: Charities download everything back on government

INSTANT REPLAY: Here's an oldie but a goodie that didn't get enough play when it came out.



Saying they were “tired of this shit”, the nation’s charities have announced that they have decided to download all the community services they deliver back to local, regional and national governments.

“For years, we’ve been carrying the ball for government. We did all the hard work and came up with all the good ideas and they just kept underfunding us. We’ve had it,” said Ferrel Snidely, President of the National Charities League. “And when they told us recently that they were going to download even more crap on us, we decided to download on them first. We’re finished with them.”

The charities plan to turn over all the community services they do across the country to government starting next Tuesday. This includes health, human services, education and anti-poverty services, work to save animals and the environment and more. In all, more than 20,734 programs will be handed back to government. Most of them have been operated by charities with some sort of government funding for years.

“We’re sorry it had to come to this,” said Turner Hu, the CEO of the Council of Mental Health Charities. “But they’ve been messing with us for years. Now, we’re messing with them. It’s that simple.”

The last straw, say insiders, was when the government started to talk about a UK-style “Big Society” agenda that would “give more power to local community agencies”.

“When we heard that we realized they were going to screw us big-time,” said Snidely. “At the same time they were talking about giving us all this power they we’re telling us we’d have to do more with less.”

Snidely says the leaders of the National Charities League simply had had enough. So, they requested a meeting with government and told them the nation’s charities would be downloading all their services back.

“The government guys were all smirking and giggling when they told us about their new imposed arrangement. But when we told them we were downloading everything back on them they were mortified. It was worth it just to see the look on their faces.”

People who use charity-delivered services are being asked to call their local government offices next week and ask for information on how to access the downloaded services they need. Snidely says he’s not very confident that the government will be able to do as good a job as League members do.

“They’re idiots. God alone knows how they will screw this up, too.”

Government leaders are at an emergency meeting trying to figure out the next steps. Reports in the media say the government is considering “double downloading” back on charities, but worry that charities will, again, download right back at them.

Another alternative being considered is to download every community service program in the country on Grace Vorhees, 72, a retired school teacher who lives alone in Metro’s Sunnyside Retirement Center and who was said to be a “tireless go-getter”.


Sunday, September 16, 2012

INSTANT REPLAY: Critics say Super Villain Foundation spending twice as much on fundraising as evil works

INSTANT REPLAY: Here's one of our oldies that we thought didn't get enough attention


The charitable organization that supports the forces of evil on planet Earth spent millions more on fundraising costs than on actually helping do bad things last year. According to the study by the Snidely Charity Watch Centre, the Super Villain Foundation spent $500 million on supporting works of evil, but spent $657 million on raising donations.

"The donors to this charity wanted their money to go to the evil, nasty, terrible and in-human things that this Foundation does, not to pay for more fundraisers. But that's exactly what happened last year," said Snidely Charity Watch Centre CEO Dibble Snidely. "The Super Villain Foundation has their priorities all wrong."

The Foundation, created during the 1960s, is one of the world's largest charities with branches in every country in the world, except the Vatican. It employs more than 5,000 people worldwide, including 1,500 in its secret underground location in an extinct volcano on a Pacific island near Hawaii. The Foundation raises money for a variety of programs, including seed money for new evil projects, academic research into death rays and other evil weapons and education projects aimed at creating a new generation of evil leaders, such as the US-based Tea Party movement.

It is also the largest fundraising organization in the world, raising on average nearly $1 billion every year. However, an analysis of the Foundation's annual reports by the Snidely Charity Watch Centre show that fundraising costs have been steadily rising every year. Last year, it spent twice as much on fundraising costs as it did just four years ago.

"The Foundation's fundraising costs have gone through the roof. Partly, this is due to the new fundraising software they implemented this year based on Raiser's Edge. But most of the increased fundraising cost was spent on advertising and salaries," said Snidely.

According to research by the Snidely Charity Watch Centre, the Foundation has some of the highest paid fundraisers on Earth, good or bad. Chuck Armageddon, the CEO of the Foundation and Chief Development Officer, reported a salary of more than $27 million in tax filings last year. The Foundation's four top executives each made more than $20 million except one who was paid in human sacrifices and chicken blood.

The Foundation also spent millions on advertising, including a surprising $150 million on online fraud schemes involving a lawyer who has a client in Nigeria who wants to give you tens of thousands of dollars if you will only share your banking information with them. It also invested $45 million in publishing, including several tabloid newspapers such as the now defunct News of the World in London.

A spokesman for the Foundation, Johnny Deathshead, said that the increasings costs were a symptom of the increasing competition the charity faces.

"Are donors are busy. They have many things on their mind. Sometimes they don't have time to think about enslaving the world and such. We understand that," Deathshead said. "At the same time, there has been an increase in the number of evil charities vying for attention. They all do great work and we welcome their presence, even if we sent a few of them a time bomb disguised as a cake a few months ago. It just means that we're all having to have smaller slices of the evil fundraising pie."

Despite the numbers, Foundation donors seem to be willing to give the charity a chance. The Rich Industrialists Trust is a giving foundation that gave the Super Villain Foundation a $45 million grant to help develop women's evil projects in Third World countries. CEO Fat Cat Jones said they understand the situation the Foundation is in.

"Donors are sometimes unfair in the way they judge charities. If the Super Villain Foundation was a for-profit business we wouldn't be having this discussion. People would just accept this as the price of doing business. So, we're going to be giving the Foundation the benefit of the doubt. They do good work. I mean evil work. Sorry," he said.

In a related story, someone stole the entire Snidely Charity Watch Centre building from downtown Metro yesterday. Bystanders saw a strange blue light appear from the clouds and minutes later the building and all the people who worked in it had disappeared. No one has seen or heard from them since. Authorities suspect it was vaporized in a gas leak explosion.


Thursday, September 13, 2012

North Korea says internal fundraising campaign reaches 1,000% participation rate




North Korea has announced what it calls the world’s most successful internal fundraising campaign. North Korean leader Kim Jong-in announced at the First People’s Congress in Pyongyang yesterday that the “Dear Leader Campaign” had reached an unprecedented 1,000 percent participation rate.

“We must thank all of the workers, soldiers and sailors of our nation for their unprecedented generosity to the Dear Leader Campaign,” Kim reportedly said. “The American imperialists who think they know everything about internal fundraising campaigns are now quaking in their boots as they see the will and power of the North Korea people. We are now the best internal fundraisers in the world.”

“America capitalist universities and their inferior hospitals should be taking lessons from us on internal fundraising,” he said to wild cheers and applause.

The announcement, accompanied by a ten hour parade through the streets of the capital, was the first indication of the fate of the two-year long internal fundraising campaign, which aimed to raise an unspecified amount of donations from North Koreans. Kim’s father, Kim Jong-il, began the communist country’s first internal fundraising campaign just before his death. It claimed a 120 percent participation rate and raised $25,000 US. The recent campaign was named after Kim Jong-il, who was obsessed with American-style fundraising and vowed to make North Korea a world fundraising super-power.

Run by the Army, the Dear Leader Campaign asked every man, woman and child,  most of the countries pets and farm animals and many people and animals who are technically dead to make a modest donation to help pay for new 100-foot tall bronze statue of Kim Jong-il riding a horse, drinking French champagne and eating his favourite snack – corn chips.

Officials said the whole country got behind the campaign. Nuclear missile technology was used to build a massive fundraising database to track donations and to identify those who betray the People's Revolution. More than 5,000 secret police officers were pressed into service as fundraisers. Ten of the largest gulags were converted into "donor stewardship" facilities for the campaign. A 50-foot tall, two mile long Soviet-style donor wall was built for the campaign in a government bunker near the capital. The Army used tanks and armoured vehicles to deliver donation forms to towns and villages all over North Korea. 

“This is an amazing achievement,” said international fundraising expert Dr. Dibble Brewer. “The country is racked by hunger and poverty. Most of the economy is geared to making weapons. A decade ago, North Korea had no fundraising at all. Today, they appear to have one of the best fundraising teams on Earth.”

North Korean UN Ambassador Li Ing Dog told reporters in New York that the United States will have to treat his country now with more respect, including doubling food aid.

“We have proven yet again to be the superior of imperialist America. The communist system under Supreme Leader Kim Jong-in has triumphed where President Obama and his capitalist fundraisers have failed,” he said.

The US State Department issued a statement calling on North Korea to put away its destructive fundraising programs and concentrate on peaceful activities such as creating more reality TV shows for the North Korean people. 

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Study says most “top ten” fundraising lists insanely obvious



Most “top ten” fundraising lists on the Internet are obvious. And some are so obvious that reading them could be hazardous to your mental health. That's the conclusion of a new report by the global authority on top ten lists.

In its annual report on the state of the sector, the World Top Ten Authority in Geneva concluded that most of the “top ten” fundraising lists online are “plainly obvious”. The report also concluded that all 3 million top ten fundraising tip lists currently online today were plagiarized from just three original lists created in the late 1980s.

“Most of the top ten lists on fundraising are not worthy of being called top ten lists,” the report said. “Most are either painfully obvious or just unbelievable, and all seem to be have ripped off from other lists.”

The report found that most of the top ten lists were the same. The number one list item is usually “personalize your message”. Second place usually goes to “create a Facebook page” or ‘create a website”. Half the time, the third top item is either “about throwing a gala event” or “have a carwash/candle party/recycling drive”.

The Authority tested more than 100 fundraising tips at its central laboratories in New York City and found that 85% would not actually raise significant amounts of new donations for a typical North America mid-sized charity. In a third of third of the cases, the testing found that the charity would lose money.

More troubling was the finding that one in five of the top ten lists had content that was so insanely obvious that fundraisers could lose their minds trying to make the tip work and require years of therapy to recover.

"Fundraisers who see a tip like 'use social media' create an unattainable set of ideas in their mind. They try and try to make it work, but fail. Each time the cycle is repeated they become more unstable until finally they crack under the pressure," the report said. "These tips are cruel and unforgiving on the mind."

The report found test subjects exposed to certain lists began to lose a grip on reality and then either reverted to an infantile state or convince themselves they were birds and try to fly. Three test subjects were hospitalized as a result but were later released and became successful fundraising consultants. 

“If a charity actually follows some of these tips their fundraisers will go insane,” the report concluded.

The report found many fundraising tips were in fact impossible to actually do. More than 12% of the tips could not be achieved in laboratory testing. One particular tip actually lead to an explosion in the lab and slightly injured two scientists.

The report postulated that the majority of top ten fundraising lists were either made by fundraising agencies or consultants to get more business or people who were “mentally deranged” or perhaps both. The mental instability of the tip creators was most pronounced in tips about social media.

“Social media top ten fundraising lists are actually dangerous and should be avoided if at all possible,” the Authority concluded. "If a charity wants to use them it should only do so in controlled conditions under a doctor's care and away from any combustible sources."

The Authority said almost every top ten fundraising list ever created could be traced back to three lists compiled by Jacob Znorfblatt, a hospital fundraiser in Plano, Texas, in 1987. Oblivious to the dangers of his research, Znorfblatt was killed in a laboratory accident while developing a new top ten list about the use of social media in planned giving.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Hospitals fight over last remaining volunteer under 60

Searching for the last volunteer

Metro’s five hospitals are pulling out all the stops over the recruitment of Stephanie Smith, 35 – the region’s last remaining volunteer under the age of 60.

Smith, a stay-at-home mother of two, told some of her friends last month that she like to do some volunteering, perhaps at a local hospital. That set off a chain reaction among the five local hospitals, who don’t have a single volunteer under the age of 60.

“We heard from someone we know that Stephanie was looking for a volunteer role. We immediately activated the hospital’s emergency plan and put together a senior team to deal with the crisis,” said Metro General Hospital volunteer coordinator Mel Snidely. “Our entire hospital and the health care of Metro was at stake – we needed to get this woman before one of the others did.”

Stephanie and daughter
But Snidely says their attempt to visit Stephanie in her cute, two storey bungalow was foiled when they saw an ambulance from Metro University Health Center in Stephanie’s driveway. The Center’s volunteer recruiter, Dibble Brewer, was already inside talking to Stephanie along with the Chief of the Medical Staff and the Chair of the Board.

“We monitor all of the General’s volunteer communications on a regular basis,” said Brewer. “We need able-bodied volunteers more than they do and when we heard them talking about this women under the age of 60 who lived on Main Street we tracked her down. Then we took an ambulance to get their ahead of them.”

But Snidely and her team were surprised when halfway through their introduction to Stephanie the Metro Trauma Center’s huge Sikorsky S-76 Medevac helicopter landed in the backyard. A minute later the Trauma Center’s Volunteer Recruitment SWAT team had taken Stephanie and whisked her away in the chopper.

“We’ve been developing infrared technology that allows us to spot volunteers under the age of 60 anywhere in Metro,” said Metro Trauma Center’s Vice-President of volunteer acquisition Liz Bailey. “It’s new technology that we’ve been piloting for about a month. When we flew over Main Street the volunteer alarm started going off and that’s when we spotted those devils from the University Health Center. We knew we had a situation.”

Bailey and her SWAT team gave Stephanie several brochures to read while she was strapped down on a gurney for the 15 minute flight to the Trauma Center. But when they landed, things went terribly wrong.

Instead of the Center’s volunteer processing team, Bailey and her group were confronted by masked and armed commandos from the Metro Cancer Hospital at the Trauma Center’s rooftop heliport.

“They had overpowered our people, tied them up and donned their clothing in order to trick us. We landed and opened the door to find ourselves looking down the barrels of five automatic rifles being wielded by men dressed all in black,” said Bailey. “Drat, it was the Cancer Hospital’s mysterious black ops volunteer rescue unit that we’ve always heard of.”

The Cancer Hospital commandos took the gurney with Stephanie stilled strapped to it and rappelled down the side of the building with ropes. They then put Stephanie into a disguised laundry truck and drove off into the night.

“We have an inside man in the Trauma Center volunteer coordination staff, so we knew what was going on. It was the perfect snatch. We were in and out and no one knew we were there,” said Hans Banz, the volunteer recruitment team leader for the Cancer Hospital. “That’s when the ninjas from the Children’s Hospital struck.”

About a block from the Cancer Hospital the truck was stopped by a group of child ninjas who blew out the truck’s tire with throwing stars. One-by-one the commando team was struck by silent blow darts that rendered them unconscious. The small ninjas entered the truck freed Stephanie from the gurney. They then slung her over their shoulders and ran off into the shadows.

Once safe within the Children’s Hospital underground ninja dojo volunteer recruitment interrogators realized that the person they had taken was in fact Stephanie’s next door neighbour Spooley Featherstone, who was in fact 65 years old and did not want to be a volunteer.

“Those fools at Metro General had gone to the wrong house,” said Ninja master Billy Jones. 

Monday, September 3, 2012

Charity’s online donors stumped by “jumbled letter” security device on donation page

Actual CAPTCHA

People trying to make an online donation to Metro’s largest charity are scratching their heads over the new security system that they can’t understand. The CAPTCHA system of jumbled letters and numbers is designed to weed out spam robots who try to make a donation at the Metro Green Foundation Trust. Instead, the system is making donors confused, angry and fearful.

“I tried to make a $10.00 donation online at the Trust website,” said supporter Dibble Brewer, 67. “It wanted me to type out some jumbled letters on the screen. Even after staring at it for 30 minutes I still couldn’t understand it, so I gave up.”

“I thought I needed an eye test because the jumbled letters they had on the screen read something like ‘up yours pigface’,” recalled donor Mary Turner, 45. “But when I went to the optometrist she said my eyes were fine and suggested that perhaps I had had a stroke.”

The security system, called CAPTCHA, is a challenge-response test used on the Internet to ensure that a response is generated by a real person. A common type of CAPTCHA requires the user to type letters or digits from a distorted image that appears on the screen. Such tests are commonly used to prevent unwanted Internet bots from accessing websites. The term "CAPTCHA" was coined in 2000 by a group of scientists at Carnegie Mellon University and is an acronym standing for "Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart".

Ever since the jumbled word system has been put in place, online donations to the Trust have plummeted by more than 3000 percent. Most donors try in vain to enter combination after combination of letters before finally giving up.

“I tried 33 times to enter the right letters,” said Trust annual donor Turner Mary, 75. “Finally I just typed in what was on my mind – ‘up yours pigface’. Amazingly it worked.”

Police say one donor had to be hospitalized after trying to input the jumbled letters again and again over a 24 hour period. Family members found unconscious at her computer but still trying to tap away at the CAPTCHA.

"I think that there is no correct way to enter these letters," said Zumfelt Jones, 69. "I think this system just keeps telling you your wrong time and time again because the Trust is trying to make us go insane. They're devils."

Better Fingers, 57, a long-time donor to the Trust, tried to call the charity to tell them about the problem but couldn’t make the person who answered understand what she was talking about.

“I told them that they had some jumbled letters on their donation page that no one could understand, but they thought I was referring to the text explaining where the money was going,” said Fingers. “I told them it was all jumbled, and they kept telling me that it wasn’t. We went round and round in circles until I got fed up and hung up.”

Actual CAPTCHA for Obesity

Trust CEO Spooley Snidely says she wasn’t aware that changes had been made to their online giving pages.

“I don’t understand websites and things like that. I just leave it to Rob, the IT guy. I’m sure he knows what he’s doing. He’s like 23 or something and I can’t understand one thing he says,” said Snidely.

Rob Zimmer, the Trust’s IT specialist, says the new CAPTCHA system was put in place automatically after their website was upgraded last month and he isn’t paid enough to figure out how to turn it off.