Sunday, November 25, 2012

Grinch makes $50 million donation to North Pole capital campaign

Grinch saves Christmas

The North Pole’s capital fundraising campaign has announced its first major donation – a $50 million gift from the Grinch, a strange, green hermit who lives near Whoville, 500 miles north of Yellowknife in the Northwest Territories of Canada.

The gift to the North Pole is Melting, the capital campaign to keep Santa’s workshop and castle from melting, was announced at the Grinch’s home on the side of Mount Crumpet.

The in-kind donation includes an assortment of goods including toys, such as jingtinglers, floofloovers, tartookas and whohoopers, and a variety of food products, including roast beast and whopudding. It also included one extremely large Christmas tree that folds up like an umbrella. The total package of items was valued at more than $50 million.

“I’m so very pleased to have Mr. Grinch be the first major donor to the campaign. His collection of pop guns, pampoogas, pantookas, and drums, checkerboards, bizilbigs, popcorn, and plums will help offset some of our costs for Christmas. He really is most generous and kind to be helping save the North Pole from melting like this,” said Santa Claus, CEO of the North Pole is Melting capital campaign. 

The Grinch said he made the donation because he wanted help Santa Claus and ensure that the North Pole remains frozen.

“I know all the good boys and girls will hanging their stockings,” he snarled with a sneer.
"December 25th is Christmas! It's practically here!

“I must find some way to keep Christmas from coming…uhm…to an end. Yes, end. Heh.”

The inspiration for the gift came to him when he and his dog Max were sledding in the woods of Mount Crumpet carrying a huge sack toys, food, gifts and other things. Ten thousand feet up, up the side of Mount Crumpet, the Grinch rode with his load to the tiptop to dump it. And what happened then? Well, in Whoville they say that the Grinch realized the tax receipt he could get for a donation that day.

“The phone rang just as I was losing my grip on things. It was my accountant and he had a suggestion about what I could do with the stuff I stole…I mean collected. We talked about how it would impact my taxes and we made the phone call to the North Pole,” said the Grinch.

“It is this kind of philanthropic leadership that will make this campaign a success,” said Santa. “The Grinch has saved Christmas.”

The mega-donation to the campaign comes in the midst of one of the worst economic downturns in the Whoville area. The local town has been stripped bare of food, clothes, toys and almost everything else. It has become so bad that the Who’s who live in the area have each
Had their mouths hang open a minute or two and then begun to all cry boo-hoo.

“My heart goes out to the Who’s down in Whoville. But their terrible situation makes this gift all the more special. Out of all these economic woes, some people can still think of others this Christmas,” said Santa.

See more at the NorthPoleisMelting.Com