THE WHITE HOUSE -- Officials at the Department of Homeland Fundraising have suspended their massive $1 Trillion fundraising campaign to help save the country from financial default. The "Give or Else" campaign, the largest fundraising campaign in history, was called off after FBI officials revealed a terrorist plot was behind the low number of donations to the campaign.
"Our campaign was perfect, and after one whole month we were well on our way to raising the $1 trillion we need to save the federal government from defaulting on our debt. Then, this happened. We'll have to suspend the campaign...for the safety of all Americans," said President Obama.
Officlas blame the plot on noted miser and evil scientist Dr. Miserly, a resident of Plano, Texas who lives at home with his parents. FBI officials recently recovered a death ray machine from Dr. Miserly's evil lair which they suspect he used to stop donors from making donations. The campaign raised only a little more than $1,000 from a half-dozen donors.
"There's no doubt in our minds that the reason people didn't give was because of some kind of terrorist plot or something and not because they didn't care or anything,"said one Department official.
Police have issued this picture of Dr. Miserly. They caution that Dr. Miserly is very evil and should be approached with extreme caution.
FOR MORE LAUGHS
Go to the Department of Homeland Fundraising website.